“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy the Elf
The Christmas movie Elf ends with a crowd in New York City’s Central Park singing Christmas carols, which generates the “Christmas spirit” that’s needed to save the day. While Buddy the Elf might not be a leading theorist on group solidarity, he’s on to something. Engaging in holiday rituals engenders feelings of belonging and builds community.
About a hundred years before Buddy’s declaration in the 2003 movie Elf, the French sociologist Emile Durkheim asserted that rituals serve an important function to unify groups. Taking part in religious or secular rituals reaffirms common values and deepens our social bonds with other ritual participants.
Rituals often focus on symbols or totems, which represent a group’s shared values. According to Durkheim, rituals produce “collective effervescence” or shared feeling of excitement from participating in rituals together. Engaging in rituals with likeminded folks produces a sense of belonging. Durkheim was analyzing “the elementary forms of religious life,” but his theory can help us to understand how holiday rituals bring people together.
Christmas is a time for connecting with others through holiday traditions. At some point in November, the Christmas music comes on the radio and the multicolored lights appear around the neighborhood. Christmas caroling, watching beloved holiday films, hanging Christmas lights, buying and decorating a Christmas tree, eating meals with loved ones, exchanging gifts, listening to Christmas music, and other holiday rituals allow us to reaffirm our connections with others.
Many Christians attend church services on Christmas Eve to sing “Silent Night,” light candles with other parishioners, and maybe watch children perform a Nativity play. Parents may take the kids to see Santa, leave out milk and cookies for the big guy, and watch for him on Christmas Eve. Each family has their own favored traditions.
Gift exchanges are one of the most common Christmas traditions. Excluding presents that Santa leaves under the tree for good children, most Americans exchange gifts reciprocally. In other words, one who receives a Christmas gift is expected to give a gift back to the original giver. Gifting becomes an endless cycle of giving and receiving. This ritualistic exchange builds and sustains relationships. These mutual obligations keep us connected us to our family and friends.
In both religious and secular rituals, we connect with loved ones and reaffirm shared values. Holiday traditions provide a mechanism for folks to connect and celebrate underlying values of togetherness, family, faith, and generosity. These same values are celebrated as key themes of many popular Christmas songs and films.
Unfortunately, Christmastime stressors can turn the best of us into a grinch. Overextended budgets, limited free time, travel stress, and conflicts with family can dim our Christmas cheer. Others lament the commercialization of Christmas and its modern focus on consumption and the accumulation of material goods. Dr. Seuss reminds us that “maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store.” Embracing Christmas traditions with others in our community can redeem the grinch in each of us.
Much like Dr. Seuss’s Grinch, many Americans are starved for meaningful connection. Christmas and other holidays provide an opportunity to forge or maintain relationships with others. Gathering with loved ones on Christmas Day, watching your favorite Christmas movies together, and other holiday rituals are not just empty traditions. Participating in holiday rituals meets our psychological need for connection, reaffirms our shared values, and generates belonging in our families, relationships, and community. Roscoe Scarborough, Ph.D. is chair of the Department of Social Sciences and associate professor of sociology at College of Coastal Georgia. He is an associate scholar at the Reg Murphy Center for Economic and Policy Studies. He can be reached by email at rscarborough@ccga.edu.
Reg Murphy Center